Greetings from My Mountain Cabin,
I admit I am not much of a telephone conversationalist. When my cell phone rings, I note who is calling as displayed by my contact directory, and choose whether to answer the call. Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't.
A ringing telephone is an invitation to respond, not a mandate. If the number is one I do not recognize, I do not automatically invite the caller into my now moment. If the message is important enough, they will leave a voice mail and I (probably) will return the call. Or I may just say, "No."
I never return calls requesting confirmation of an appointment with a doctor or dentist. If I say I am going to be there, I will. You can bank on it. I also will not allow telemarketers or US Census Bureau workers to invade my privacy. "No!"
I was once at a meeting of a local membership organization when the cell phone worn by our president rang as he was speaking to those present. It was a call from his lady friend. To my astonishment, he answered the call and proceeded to have a schmoozy conversation that lasted for several minutes. I am sure I was not the only one present who would have rather he said, "No" and gotten on with the meeting agenda.
In our daily life, we are often beseeched by others to act in a manner that they desire—a behavior that may not be one we would enthusiastically choose.
✶ You are so talented. No one can lead our organization as effectively as you. Won't you be our president?
✶ I have four tickets to watch the grass grow in Central Park this weekend. Would you and your sweetie like to join Harry and me?
✶ We are having a fund drive this year to save the floppy-eared wombat. We'd love to have you as a team leader. Won't you volunteer?
It is an honor to be thought of in such a friendly light. When others say you are so important that they want to include you in their special group, the invitation can be head-turning. Flattering at first, perhaps to be regretted further down the line.
Happiest are those who live in integrity—a state where one's thoughts words and actions are all in agreement. Disharmony often results when one of these elements is out of phase with the others. If you truly want to say "No" but go along anyway, your thoughts will not mesh with your actions. You are setting the stage for frustration.
✶ Dad, may I borrow the Lamborghini for my prom date this Saturday night? I hate driving Grandad's old Packard pick-up truck.
✶ No, son, you may not borrow the Lamborghini. But I love you, nonetheless.
Be well, do good work, keep in touch,
Ed
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
Click here to have your name added to our Circle of Friends data base and also receive a FREE print-quality copy of Timeless Truths—Ten simple insights for changing your life.
Your contact information will never be shared with a third party. Promise.